That One Where She Couldn't Think Of A Title!
by SisiDraig - 2
Summary: Sequel to "When Two People Cuddle...": Vince and Howard have a nice meal planned but when Leroy pulls out of looking after the boys for some ludicrous reason, they're forced to have a romantic meal in instead... Quite fluffy!


**D/C: Still not mine!!**

**A/N: Summer Holidays start TODAY! - WOO HOO!**

* * *

"What d'you mean you can't take them?"

"Look mate, I'd love to help buuuut…"

Vince could almost hear the cogs whirring in Leroy's brain as he conjured up an appropriate lie.

"I've been held hostage in my own home… by orange people."

"That'll be the self-tanned sluts your going to the clubs with."

"Nah! These are like two-inches tall but there's loads of them."

"Whatever." snapped Vince "Go to the clubs, see what I care. Just don't expect any favours from me… ever."

He slammed down the receiver and groaned loudly.

"Problem?" Howard asked, not looking up from where he was helping Richmond to muddle through Grimm's version of Red Riding Hood.

"Yeah." sighed Vince, blowing upwards to dislodge the hair from his eyes. "I think we're going to have to postpone out evening."

"Again?" Howard cried, finally making eye contact with his partner.

Vince nodded. "Leroy's going out and Lester wont have them because Jones smashed up all his records last time they were there."

They both looked at the boy in question, who was bouncing his disgusting toy, Baby Gregg, lovingly on his knee, but the wicked grin that was straining his features told them he remembered clearly how he'd destroyed the priceless old jazz records.

"And Naboo can't do it because he's away on top secret shamanistic business."

"Mmm." sighed Howard, looking back to the book as Richmond whooped in delight at the appearance of the wolf into the story. "I'll ring the restaurant and tell them to push our booking to next week."

"Oh. What's the point?" Vince asked sullenly. "We never get any time to ourselves."

"I know, but that's all part of fatherhood." Howard said, lifting Richmond off his knees and lowering him to the floor. Suddenly, Richmond burst out laughing and Howard peered at the page to find his son had just read the bit where Red Riding Hood was eaten by the big bad wolf.

"There's something wrong with that boy." he muttered to Vince but the fondness was obvious in his tone when he continued, "His head's on backwards. You know it was Jones' turn to choose a film last week, so he chose…"

"The Little Mermaid?" interrupted Vince, with a knowing smile. It was Jones' favourite film. He loved the colours and the songs and could often be heard telling Baby Gregg that he, Gregg, would one day find a handsome human prince.

"How did you guess?" laughed Howard, "Anyway, it ended and Richmond was furious that it had ended happily and started telling Jones all about the ending from his book."

"I've read the little Mermaid book, well, I listened to the cassette. It's almost exactly the same as the film, just shorter with no songs."

"That's the Disney adaptation, Vince. It's_ based_ on the film." Howard sighed, as he flicked through the Yellow Pages searching for the restaurant's number.

"Is it? So how does the book Richmond likes end? Does Flounder marry Ariel instead? I've always had a sneaking suspicion that if Flounder were a merman, they'd have been in love and got married."

"Flounder's not in the book."

"WHAT!?"

"And there's no marriage, well, the little mermaid doesn't get married anyway."

"Really? So what happens to her?"

"She dies." he said offhandedly as he carefully dialled the number.

"What!? Oh. This is bleak. Are you sure this is a kids' story?"

"Yeah. Richmond _loved _it. It's all heartbreak and love triangles. And he loves a good death in his books." Right on cue, Richmond groaned as he read the last page of Red Riding Hood to discover that, not only was the wolf dead, but that Granny and Red were able to walk from the wolf's stomach unharmed.

Howard rolled his eyes and returned his attention to his phone call. Vince almost cried as he listened to Howard apologize and cancel the table. He'd been really looking forward to tonight. It had been _so _long since it had just been the two of them and, as much as he loved his boys, he craved the chance to be alone with Howard.

"Hey. Cheer up little man." Howard said, sitting on the sofa next to Vince and putting an arm around his shoulders. "Maybe we could have a nice meal in, instead."

Vince nodded but he didn't look even halfway convinced.

"I tell you what." Howard tried again, "Why don't you get the boys bathed and ready for bed and get yourself dressed up in the outfit you bought for tonight and leave the rest to me."Vince looked at Howard, his expression a mixture of confusion and bemusement.

"What are you planning?"

"Never you mind, just do as your told."

"When do I ever do as I'm told?"

"Oh just go will you." Howard chuckled.

"How do I know this isn't just some plan to get out of your share of bath times?"

Howard suddenly leant over and kissed Vince hard. "You don't." he smiled, "Now, shut up and go so I can sort things out in here."

--

Vince tried not to get too wet whilst bathing the boys, though he should have known better than to strip off his sons and say; "Right, jump in the bath."

All three clambered in and jumped up and down on the spot, sloshing water all over the bathroom, all over Vince and all in his hair. He squealed and tried to protect his precious locks by holding up the nearest thing he could find, Howard's dressing gown. It didn't help much.

"Enough!" bellowed Vince, once he felt brave enough to stick his head out above the fluffy, nutmeg protection "Sit down!"

Vinward and Richmond did as they were told but, as per usual, it was Jones who pushed the boundaries by remaining on his feet and kicking water in his brother's faces.

"Jones!" whined Richmond "Stop it."

"Yeah Jones. _Stop_." And on that word, Vinward hooked one of Jones' ankles and he slipped landing hard on the bath floor.

Jones burst into floods of tears, climbed straight out of the bath and clung onto Vince's leg. The tears ran down his face as he shot accusatory glances at Vinward.

"Watch it Jonesy." Vince moaned, "You're ruining my trousers." he crouched down and wrapped Jones' towel around him. It was one of those ones you get for tiny baby's with a duck's head in the corner but Jones loved it so much, he couldn't be persuaded to get rid of them. It was only just big enough to wrap around his thin torso but he didn't care about things like that. He wasn't exactly a shy boy. He usually tried to escape after bath-time without getting dressed. Vinward on the other hand would be dressed in 1.4 seconds and Richmond never seemed that bothered either way.

Jones cuddled up in the duck towel and Vince hugged him tight, making soothing little "Shush, shush." noises until Jones had calmed down enough to say,

"I'm not getting going back in the bath with him." he pointed at Vinward angrily, "until he says sorry." Then a wicked glint flashed across Jones large blue eyes. "Oooor he can kiss my bottom better." he giggled dropped his towel and starting wiggling his bottom in front of his brother's face.

"Get lost girl's hair!"

"Shut up caterpillar face!"

"Alright!" Vince cried before they could argue anymore. He was totally sick of it by now. All he wanted was to be downstairs enjoying a night in with Howard but at the moment that seemed a billion miles away.

Whilst all this was going on, Richmond had finished washing himself and was now getting out of the bath and taking his black towel from the rack, asking where his pyjama's were. Vince handed over the clothes whilst keeping his attention on his other two sons, who were still glaring daggers at each other.

He sighed. He knew there was no way they were going to share the bath now. What he didn't know, was that after he'd washed Vinward and was in the process of drying him, Jones would empty the bath, claiming he didn't want caterpillar eggs in his water. Then he grinned smugly as Vince had had to stop Vinward from taking his brother's head off. Vince gave Vinward his pyjama's and sat Jones in the bath. The little boy wriggled like a cornered eel and absolutely soaked Vince until his white t-shirt was see-through and his trousers were ruined but Vince didn't have the energy to go mad. He almost didn't care. He wished Howard were here to help like he was every other evening. But not tonight. Tonight he was getting a surprise ready for Vince and it was the thought of that, that drove Vince forward. He lifted Jones out of the bat and rubbed him dry but, no sooner had the last drop been wiped away, Jones was gone, like a flash out of the door; whooping and cheering with delight as he took off all over the flat in unclothed bliss.

Vince groaned loudly and decided to ignore Jones. He'd seen on Super Nanny or something that actions like this were just attention seeking and if you ignored the child they'd come back. The problem with Jones was that each and every one of his actions was attention seeking. If they listened to the telly, they'd never be able to acknowledge Jones' existence again. Vince looked at Richmond and Vinward. Richmond was reading his book and Vinward was scatting to himself.

"Come on boys." he said, brushing his frizzy, damp hair from his face and trying to ignore how ratty and disgusting it felt between his fingers. "Let's get you into bed."

Richmond ran off and climbed onto his bed but Vinward didn't move. He was in a jazz-trance. Vince rolled his eyes. This was the kind of problem you had when your children had 50% of Howard's genes.

"Come on." he said, lifting Vinward up and carrying him to his own, brown sheeted bed. He laid him down softly and only noticed Jones' presence in his own purple bed, decorated with endless stickers, when something flew past Vince's head and smacked Vinward square between the eyes. He snapped out of the trance and looked down at the missile. A Charlie Mingus cassette. Only one person could be this careless with jazz. He glared at Jones, who was now whistling suspiciously and looking at the ceiling.

"Don't rise to it." hissed Vince in Vinward's ear. He got to his feet and walked over to Jones' bed, wearing that look that Jones recognised as trouble. The boy initiated his defence system, he made his blue eyes wide and his bottom lip wibble a little but his dad wasn't falling for it. Vince was about to demand Jones hand over Baby Gregg for being so naughty this evening when his son was smacked in the side of the head with his own hairbrush. They looked over to Vinward, who was still trying to shuffle under his covers and putting on very loud, very fake snores.

Vince rolled his eyes. They were as bad as each other. So he turned his attention to Richmond, who was now holding his book out to Vince. Vince didn't read very well but he promised to give it a go as a treat for Richmond. The problem with Richmond's story was that it was making Jones cry and, as Richmond leant over Vince's shoulder and corrected him for the hundredth time, Vince decided he'd had enough. He put the book down, tucked all his sons in and virtually ran out of the room. He shut the door and slumped against it. It had been a long day and now he just wanted to put on his oldest baggiest clothes, curl up with a blanket and a hot chocolate and watch an entire box set of Collobus the Crab but then he remembered all the effort Howard would have gone to with sorting out an evening meal downstairs. He couldn't let him down now. He hauled himself upright and dragged himself to the shower. He turned the water on and waited for it to heat up. It didn't. He waited ages but the water still ran cold and then he remembered, they'd already run two baths that evening. Cold shower it was. He stepped into the freezing water and let it pound his shoulders. He could feel the goose pimples rise on his skin and he shivered, his teeth chattering. He'd just be quick.

It wasn't long before he was stepping out of the cold shower and wrapping himself in the towel. He rushed to his and Howard's room. He took his time drying his hair and straightening it. He dug out the outfit he'd been planning to wear out this evening. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked great and usually that would have made him happy but tonight he wasn't feeling it. He'd have been much happier to look in that mirror now and see himself in his pyjamas, with his hair a bit of a mess and no makeup. He took a deep breath and smiled. Tonight would be amazing. He was sure of it. He just had to make an effort.

He walked out of the bedroom and along the corridor to the sitting room and gasped. The site ahead of him was beautiful. There was no table set for two. There were no candles or atmospheric lights. There were meals that looked like they'd been slaved over for hours. There was nothing that looked remotely like a restaurant. What there was, was Howard sat on the sofa in his favourite pyjamas and a couple of pillows around to make it more comfortable. He was cocooned in his own blanket, winding through the adverts on Collobus the Crab video and on the table were two steaming cups of cocoa, one with extra sugar and marshmallows, one without.

"Howard?" Vince asked quietly.

"Hey." smiled the older man, pausing the video and looking up at his partner dressed up to the nines. "Oh." he said, sheepishly looking around and the comfy room. "I… I heard you shouting upstairs and I thought you'd prefer a comfy Collobus the Crab night." He swallowed, looking Vince's outfit up and down, he looked absolutely incredible and Howard was overwhelmed with a sudden feeling of guilt.

"I'm sorry." he gabbled, leaping to his feet. "Give me ten minutes and this place will be like a five-star restaurant."

"Don't touch it." Vince smiled, going over to touch Howard's arm delicately. "It's perfect. Absolutely perfect." He looked around the room and sighed happily, resting his head on Howard's shoulders and smiling as Howard enveloped him in his arms and placed a gentle kiss amongst the carefully groomed hair.

"How did you know this was what I'd want?" Vince asked.

"I know everything about you. Why don't you go and get your pyjamas on? I've got some cookies in the kitchen."

"I love you Howard." Vince said softly, walking his fingers over Howard's chest.

"I love you too little man."

Vince ran off and got changed in record time. As he came out of his bedroom, he walked straight into Howard, who was coming out of the boys room. The older man raised a finger to his lips.

"Shhhh." Howard hushed, "You look beautiful." he smiled.

"What? In my scruffy old PJ's."

"Yup." Howard smiled, stroking Vince's hair out of his eyes and kissing him deeply.

"Is everything okay with the boys?" he asked, eyeing the door Howard had just walked out of.

"Their just fine. Come on."

--

Vince snuggled closer to Howard and breathed in deeply. Howard looked down and saw his partner's eyelids slip shut. He smiled and pressed his lips to Vince's temple. They'd only watched one episode of Collobus but Vince was shattered. Howard, trying not to dislodge Vince, leant across and turned down the volume.

"Mmm." mumbled Vince. "Wha' you doin'? M'watchin 'at."

"Course you were."

"Howard?"

"Mm, yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Tonight. It was… perfect." Vince pressed a kiss into Howard's chest. Howard squeezed him tight. Just then, Vinward's voice flooded down the corridor.

"I'll go." promised Howard.

--

Vince must have fallen asleep because next second, his eyes fluttered open to see Howard tidying away some cushions.

"Hey." Howard said, when he noticed Vince watching him.

"When's this gonna stop?"

"What?"

"This. Being tired all the time. Getting up in the middle of the night to see if the kids are okay."

"Well, you don't _have _to do that." laughed Howard, "You just insist on going in there every ten minutes in case the evil tooth fairy comes."

"Well, she is evil." Vince reasoned. "When I lived in the forest she was in league with the monkeys. They were after my face, she was after my teeth. If it hadn't been for Jahouli, I'd have been a faceless, toothless skull." He paused, "I'm just gonna check the boys have still got their teeth."

He went to get up but Howard pushed him firmly back into the cushions. Vince's tired limbs did little to fight against it.

"They're fine." Howard promised, kissing Vince on the forehead and the temple, cheek, corner of the mouth. Lips. Vince kissed back, sighing happily.

"Put Collobus back on."

"Why don't you just go and get some sleep? You look exhausted."

"Nah. We're gonna pull an all-nighter." Vince grinned. "Leroy owes me. He's gonna have the boys all day tomorrow and we're just gonna laze about in bed all day."

"Sounds good to me." laughed Howard, "Shift over." he said, pushing himself into the small gap on the sofa and putting the video on low. However hard they tried, Vince and Howard quickly fell asleep. Parenthood was exhausting.

* * *

The next morning, Vince sent Leroy a text.

**Sent: 9:26am  
****Date: 22/6/2009  
****Sender: x-Vince-x**

Bringin the kids round l8r.  
U can hav em all day. U  
owe me!  
V x

Leroy tried to reach his phone but just as he brushed the screen with his bound fingers, the king of the Tango Men woke up.

"Stop where you are!" screamed the two-inch tall orange man. "NO communication with the outside world."

"Sorry." sighed Leroy.

"You will be! Fire the cannons!"

There was a tiny dull pain in his right shin as a tiny pebble hit him in the shin. This was ridiculous. He'd been like this, tied to the radiator, for over eighteen hours and although he didn't feel like he was any real danger from the tiny orange men, it was a little inconvenient and his only phone secret phone call to Vince had been met by stony disregard. He sighed and wondered just how long he'd be stuck like this as another tiny pebble connected with his shin.


End file.
